Along Came A Spider
by sugarkid
Summary: Archie reminisces on the only girl he's ever loved, Patience Muffet. Also a little head canon about why he's a therapist in Storybrooke.


If ever anyone was to ask Archie about his love life, both in Storybrooke and in Fairy Tale Land, he always responded in the same way.

_'Oh, there was a woman once, but it didn't work out.'_

He had never told anyone any more than that, for usually at the first hint of a sad ending people thought it was polite to stop asking. He could never forget what his love looked like or how beautiful her singing voice was and, since she was among the masses left behind when the curse took hold, talking about her was the only method he had of keeping her alive. When he cooked his lunch or attached Pongo's leash he would hum that song she had loved so much, remembering how it had captivated his attentions when he heard it for the first time.

It had all seemed so typical back then. As a young man he had never fallen in love or seen a woman as beautiful as her. He had spent most of his life on the road, sleeping in the dirt and dreaming of an honest life. He was thankful that it was as a free man that he first laid eyes on her, though he did not fail to spot the irony that although he had gained his freedom he was no longer a 'man' in the usual sense.

She was a farmer's daughter and the years had been kind to her family. Their fields were prosperous and their livestock were fat and plentiful. Her father had many happy workers, who sang all day and drank all night. It was the sort of life Archie had always wanted before – happy, honest work, accompanied by happy, honest friends and he could not help but think it was a sad irony that he only found it when it was too late.

Geppetto was still little more than a boy with blistered feet when the pair of them arrived on the farmer's lands and Archie remembered glancing out at the fields around them from his hiding spot in Geppetto's waistcoat pocket. As much as he would have loved to have hopped by himself, he had learned the hard way that he was much too small to keep up with the boy's pace. As a man he could quite easily have outstripped him or carried him in his arms for the rest of the way, but as a cricket the best he could do was talk to the poor boy and hope to keep him motivated.

It was early evening when they got there and the farm hands had finished for the day. Archie could hear them singing, slapping one another on the back as they left. He could still remember it as clear as day, even all of those years later in Storybrooke.

If Archie had thought the farm hands were large then Farmer Muffet had to be the most enormous man he had ever seen. His knees knocked together as Geppetto stood in his presence and asked for work until the end of the season. The pair of them had been travelling for many days and the thought of fresh bread, milk to drink and a warm place to sleep for a few months seemed too good to be true. Farmer Muffet had many farm hands as it was and, while his lands were prosperous, Geppetto looked incredibly feeble. Archie had crawled down deep into Geppetto's worn pocket, readying himself for more travelling and a deep, resounding 'no'.

Except it never came. Instead, Farmer Muffet did something Archie could never have predicted. He sent for his daughter and told her to prepare a bath and a light meal.

Patience was her name and Archie could never forget their first meeting. In fact, he was fairly certain that he would never forget anything about her. He remembered the flash of chestnut curls that were his first glimpse of her, the way she spoke to Geppetto in a soothing tone so as not to scare him. She had prepared a simple plate of cheese and grapes for Geppetto to nibble at, all while she bathed his feet. It was a painful process for the boy and he winced several times mid-conversation. Patience, however, was true to her name and spoke very gently, asking him how he had started travelling, what his name was and where he was planning on going at the end of the season. She noticed fairly early on that Geppetto kept slipping grapes into his waistcoat pocket for Archie to eat but did not comment until one fell out of his hand and onto the floor. She picked it up and washed it in the jug of fresh water before passing it back .

"Did you bring a friend with you, Geppetto?" she asked, smiling at the expression of confusion and suspicion that he wore as a result.

Slowly, so slowly that Archie thought everything was happening in slow motion, Geppetto had slipped his hand in his pocket and lifted Archie into the palm so that Patience could see him. She smiled at him and introduced herself in such an over the top manner that Archie could tell she saw him as little more than Geppetto's pet. Country children were like that, he knew, prone to adopting field mice and giving them all names.

While Geppetto worked in the fields, Archie watched Patience churn butter with the other women. At night he would go in search of her and listen to the songs she sang over her sewing. Archie had never been in love before and he did not know what was expected of him. Patience said 'good morning' to him every morning, just as she did to all of the children and their pets and it took every ounce of strength he had not to say 'good morning' back. As a man he would have sent her flowers and planted each one in her hair, laid on the hillsides with her and listened to the cricket song with her hand in his. But he was no longer a man. He was a cricket and a cricket by choice. He had to settle for singing the cricket songs while she lay on the hillsides alone.

The season came to a close and with it so did Geppetto's agreement with Farmer Muffet. Geppetto had learned much from the man in such a short time, though that did not change the fact that his dream was still carpentry. According to one of Farmer Muffet's men, there was a carpenter in the next town over who was so incredibly skilled that he was able to carve anything. Archie had half hoped that Geppetto would stay with Farmer Muffet so that he in turn could stay with Patience, but he could not deny the boy his dreams and once Geppetto had heard the tale of such a skilled man, there was no stalling him.

The night before they left, Archie went out to Patience's favourite spot on the hillside. He wanted to see her one last time in the hopes that he could take that moment and treasure it forever. She was weeping when he got there, for reasons he did not know. She had been fine earlier on that day while she churned butter, singing happily as usual. She had ruffled her fingers through Geppetto's hair and begged him to come back if the carpenter sent him away, as if she was very happy indeed. No, try as he might, Archie could not think of a reason why she might be weeping.

The moonlight lit up her tears and the still hillside emphasised the way her body shook with every sob. Archie could not stand the sound. She had such a beautiful laugh, a laugh that could cheer up anyone when they were feeling sad. That was the sound he wanted to remember her by.

Against his better judgement he crept closer, until he was so close that he could feel her hot breath against his body. He reached out an arm and tapped it against her face.

"Are you quite alright?" he asked.

The rest, as the old proverb goes, was history. Patience turned to look at him and, when she saw a cricket standing there, she screamed so piercingly that the farmhands came running to the hillside, convinced she was being murdered.

Archie only knew the rest from what he and Geppetto heard on their travels. Patience had told everyone the truth – a terrible decision on her part, for everyone had called her crazy ever since. Nobody believed that a cricket had talked to her, but she would not allow anyone tell her otherwise. Nonsense rhymes and jokes about 'crazy Miss Muffet' grew ever more popular as time went by. She never married as far as Archie knew, for everyone was so utterly convinced she was mad. He could not help but think it was a shame for he knew she would have made an excellent wife and mother. He wished he had still been there to prove her right when she had told her tale to the others, though that wasn't his biggest regret. If he had to choose, he would say that his biggest regret of them all was that he would go to his grave never knowing why she was weeping in the first place.

It was easier just to say it hadn't worked out. The truth was far worse.


End file.
